Happy birthday to one of the most important people in my life. I’ve known you for 3 years now (gahdamn son) and we’ve been through highs and lows but no matter what happens I know that at the end of the day I always have you on my side no matter what. I really would have been a different person if you weren’t in my life because you helped me grew in ways you don’t even know, not to mention I’d still be secretive about my thirst (you helped the slut in me come out). You are one of the most kind-hearted and genuine people that I’ve ever met and I pray that you never lose that or let people take it away from you. You don’t need anybody to be great because you already are and as long as you keep going the way you are right now then I have no doubt in my mind that you will achieve everything you’ve ever dreamed of (including that ~dream man~ winkwink).
I hope that you know how much I love you and how much you mean to me because you really do mean so much, you own a piece of my heart and nothing and no one will ever come between us because damn bitch this friendship is just too fucking strong to be broken. You can always brighten my day and we can go days without taking but the minute we do, it’s like we never stopped talking at all. I’m so thankful for that and I’m thankful for you and your friendship and trust me when I tell you that I know how blessed I am to have friend like you in my life.
I love you so much. Happy birthday, you dirty slut.
Oh lord you old whore it’s time to put you in a retirement home grandma